Dates & work!

Thought it was time for an update! Saturday was date night ... only the second time myself and Anthony have been out in seven months. My niece came over to babysit, we got Joshua settled in bed and off we went. It felt really good to dress up, straightened my hair, put on a full face of makeup and some new clothes. We started the evening by going to my favourite bar for a cherry beer before going to the restaurant. Ate so much, and drank wine. We chatted and laughed, it was a lovely evening. I didn’t text home to check if Joshua was okay, I was proud of myself. Not that we were out late, we were home by ten thirty and Joshua was up playing with my niece! She did call me to warm me she couldn’t get him back to sleep, but he was happy and that’s all that mattered. I got him back to sleep in the end and then he slept the entire night for the FIRST time. So impressed!! Shame he hasn’t done it since!

As hard as it is leaving my little prince it really did us good to get some quality time alone – it is important.

Been in work again this week, two days done – one to go. It’s getting easier, and I am so impressed that I can remember most things. Feels like I never left. Joshua is so clingy when I get home though, I can do nothing until he is in bed as every time I put him down he cries. Even when his Dad holds him he reaches out for me. He misses his Mummy and that makes me feel rotten for leaving him but does mean I get loads of cuddles when I am home.

Something really annoyed me today though. People telling me how to be a Mummy, I can’t tolerate it. He’s my child, I will do things as I feel appropriate just because they did it different with their child does not mean that is the way it should always be. It doesn’t make me a bad person because I can’t leave me child to cry, I will not stop feeding him during the night because you tell me he doesn’t need feeding at night at his age. If he asks for a feed I will give it him. Honestly everyone else is more bothered about me getting up for night feeds than I am. If I don’t care, if I am happy to do it why does everyone have to tell me what I SHOULD be doing to stop it. Leave him cry... I don’t think so! Crying is his form of communication, it means he wants something if only that is only a cuddle. Everyone parents in a different way and I would never dream of telling another Mum how to do something, I would tell them what I do. Or what I would do in that situation, but never any more than that. What works for one mother and baby is different for another!

Anyway that’s it from me.

xxx

Oh Happy Days!

I survived work, Joshua survived and so did Ant! So all is good. I don’t even think Joshua missed me – that’s just charming isn’t it?! Was nice chatting with everyone again and my worries about forgetting everything were dashed, I actually remembered more than I thought. Although I will so be asking a million questions when I go back properly.

Does anyone else love the feeling you get when you can be completely and utterly happy for someone else?  I’ve been crossing my fingers and wishing on eye lashes for the past two months that my friend would get the news she deserved and on Tuesday she had her twelve week scan and saw her babies heartbeat.  I know exactly how she was feeling and when I received the message to say everything was okay I had the biggest smile on my face for the rest of the day. Honestly I am overjoyed for her. It’s such an exciting time, and I love that I can share it with her.

I find too often these days that people can’t be genuinely happy for someone else, not unless they are benefiting from it in some way and I hate this. Why does the world have to work like this?

My new year; new me is going fairly well...caved and had a small piece of chocolate today. Other than that though we’ve been eating nice healthy food and I’m enjoying it. Making me feel less tired and happier in myself. I know it will be a while before I notice the affects but I’m still motivated – usually I get s far as day 2! Had my hair cut yesterday as another step – I have a little side fringe now and I really like it. Have a look for yourself and let me know what you think!



Next weekend Ant is going to take me out for a treat.... the healthy eating will go out of the window that night. We’ve only had one night out alone in the past seven months so we both feel that it is due. I’ve been dropping hints for a few weeks and last night he turned to Joshua and said ‘Joshua I think Mummy is trying to tell me something, new clothes, new makeup new hair’ Then he told me he would take me out, so to arrange a baby sitter.

Will be lovely to get a night out alone as a couple but will also be strange as it’s only the second time Joshua will have been with someone other than the two of us. I know he will be fine, he’ll most likely be in bed before we go and my neice is more than capable of taking care of it. Just strange though!

Anyway I think that’s enough randomness for today!
Thanks to everyone who has left comments I really appreciate and love reading them

Lucy xx

That Sunday Feeling

I officially hate it! You know that feeling you get that the weekend is ending too quickly and work is looming. That’s how I feel right now. Okay I know I haven’t been at work since the middle of May last year but it still feels like only two minutes ago I was there. Honestly the last 7 months have gone to fast and it feels way too soon to be leaving my little Prince for work. I’m only going in for 4 hours and I am only doing two days this week but it won’t be long and I will be back doing 5 day weeks again. I actually want to cry, I don’t want any other job than being a Mummy. Being a Mum is my favourite thing to do and I feel guilty that I have to go back to work and devote my time to stupid customers and their laptops. How will I be motivated to do my work when I don’t care about it, when all I want to do is go home and be with my baby? My biggest fear is missing his milestones. Yes it will be nice that Daddy is there and gets to experience them and not some stranger but I honestly think I will feel jealous. What if he says his first real word (not the Muma muma muma mum mum whining he does now) but something where he knows the meaning. Or what if he crawls and then later walks when I am at work. It will make being away from him even worse. I want to be there for them all! Is that selfish?

 His Daddy goes out to work every day ...well night actually so he doesn’t miss much time with Joshua. An hour or so in the morning while he sleeps in, then he misses an hour before bed. Nothing really...I’m going to be missing 4 and half hours every afternoon. I know I have to go back, bills needs to be paid, milk and nappies bought and I should just try and be positive about it. Right now though I can’t.

Maybe once I’ve done my first day tomorrow I will feel better. Even one keeps telling me the adult company will do me good, what do they think I do lock myself in the house all day with only Joshua. We go shopping, we meet friends for lunch, we visit family we go and play with other Mum’s and babies. I see lots of adults, I just see them with my son with me and that’s the way I want it to be. We’re going to have to stop going to Mother and Baby group to. We did that Tuesday afternoons, think there are only 4 more days we can go and that’s it finished. Joshua loves going to, interacting with the other babies and flirting with the mums.

Anyway I’m going to leave it at that before I depress myself anymore and quite possible you to.
Happier blog next time
Lucy