Motherhood

After months of waiting, waiting to get pregnant, waiting for scans, waiting to giving birth - basically one big waiting game that seemed to take a lifetime. Time seemed to slow down the last few weeks of my pregnancy, there seemed to be extra hours in the day, extra days in the week… I was wishing time by. Now it’s all changed, time has sped up - there are not enough hours in the day, my boy is growing; changing and it’s all happening so quickly. Now I want time to slow down…I want Joshua to stay tiny for longer! Guess we are never happy!

Motherhood… people ask is it what you expected? I don’t know, I never really had any expectations. Is it harder than I thought? Some days, the lack of sleep is hard, but it’s worth it. Seeing Joshua happy and content, watching him grow and change and explore things. I’d not swap any of it for a full nights sleep… don’t get my wrong a full nights sleep would be nice, but I’ll get it again one day. The hardest thing I have found is knowing my little man is in pain and I can’t make it go away. Makes me sad, watching him sleeping and hearing him moan or cry in his sleep - I just want to hug him and make it all better. Hoping the colic goes soon - poor little mite.

There is one question I have been asked a million times, mostly by random strangers. ‘Is he good?’ Of course he is, new born babies don’t have the ability to be naughty. When they ask they are usually wanting to know if he is sleeping at night. No he doesn’t sleep through, but then I never expected him to - how many new babies do? But just because he doesn’t sleep all night doesn’t mean he is a bad baby… is that what they imply? Perhaps not, but sometimes I just want to ask them that? LOL

He truly fascinates me, I find myself spending to much time holding him and gazing at him. Watching him while he’s awake, watching him while he’s sleeping - stretching, curling up, makes cute faces, and cooing noises. Some days I get nothing done, I sit on the sofa with my new best friend - day time t.v and just hold and cuddle him. When he feeds, and then falls asleep he just looks to content and it makes me heart melt.

being a Mum, and loving seeing Ant being a Dad - he is wonderful. Proper dotes on his little boy! My whole live revolves around my little man, everything I do and say is about him at the moment. I probably bore everyone to death but honestly I am so in love with him, that I can’t stop talking about him.

Got some exciting plans for the rest of the year, going to Wales in 6 weeks with my parents - looking forward to it so much. Nice relaxing break in a gorge cottage. My mum has offered to look after Joshua for an evening to, so me and Ant will get out first night out together. I wonder if I will spend the whole time wondering how my boy is! Hehe Before I go to Wales though Erica is home, and I am soooo excited *bounces* Almost been two years since I have seen her, missed her lots. And Joshua needs to meet his Aunty Erica :D The October Tanja will come and stay, so excited :D Then December Jamie Olivers restaurant with Tanja and Carina. Yay lots of excitement!